Bailey Brawner

Day 1 of 10: Grounding Ourselves

Song of Songs 6:9 (NRSV)

My dove, my perfect one, is the only one,
the darling of her mother,
flawless to her that bore her.
The maidens saw her and called her happy;
the queens and concubines also, and they praised her.

So what is asexuality, and why should we care about it? Well, you clicked on this devotional (thank you), so you must be curious about it or maybe you already care about it. Either way, here you are…welcome!

In its most basic definition, asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction. Where bisexual people by definition can experience sexual attraction for people of any gender, asexual people don’t experience sexual attraction, regardless of gender.

Like any orientation, asexuality is a spectrum, so folx may find themselves on various places, meaning this basic definition will not fit for everyone who identifies as asexual. Also on the asexual spectrum are labels like grey-sexual, demi-sexual, etc. Labels are messy and imperfect, just like us as human beings.

I chose to write this devotional because the conversation around asexuality and the voices of asexual people need more visibility. Even I, as an asexual person, feel underqualified sometimes, to talk about my own asexual identity, because I feel that I don’t know enough about it. That’s really telling, and means that so much more effort needs to go into this conversation.

Being asexual means there are, to use Matthias Roberts’ language, “unique giftings” that an asexual person holds. We see the world in ways that others might not, and because of this, we do things differently sometimes. Asexual people have things that they can offer to everyone, things we can all learn from.

Over the next ten days, we will look deeper into some of those learnings. My hope and my prayer, is that you will open yourself up to learning not only about asexuality, but about your own identity. I pray that you ask questions, that you allow yourself to say ‘I don’t know’, to dig deeper, and to prepare yourself to do the work to know yourself better; body, mind, and spirit.

You are sacred and you are so loved.

Grace and Peace,

Throughout the series, I will be speaking from my own perspective, one which is not universal to all asexual people. We should all recognize that asexuality is a spectrum, like any identity or orientation, and no matter how you identify, your experience is valid and sacred. Because I identify as asexual but not aromantic, my focus will not be on aromanticism, though this is another vastly underrepresented orientation. I’d love to hear from you about how your experience is similar or different to mine. Let’s continue this incredibly needed conversation together.

God of goodness and light,
You are here. You are greater and more complex than we can ever know. Pour out your love on us, as we embark on a journey to know ourselves more fully, and to learn from the experiences of our neighbors. Allow us to feel your spirit working within us, stirring new ideas and new ways of seeing ourselves, as a part of your kin-dom.
In your gracious and holy name we pray, Amen.

Finish reading this 10 day devotional in the app. Find it on the Featured shelf.